Superhero Stir Fry Side Dish: Kale and Chard in a Spicy Teriyaki Disguise

Does anyone remember The Superfriends? It’s a vintage cartoon that features a dream-team alliance of seriously bitchin’ superheros. A couple nights ago I had a dream about The Superfriends, which went something like this: “Wonder Twin Powers, Activate! Form of: the healthiest, most cruciferous vegetable on the planet to protect against cancer and fight cholesterol!” (And then POOF!, he turns into kale). Then the female side of the daring duo says: “Shape of: a super-vegetable that contains 13 different kinds of antioxidants and betalain to fight aging, heart disease and inflammation!” (And then BANG!, she turns into Swiss chard).

(Yeah, that was a weird dream! But not as strange as the one in which my body was made of nougat – now that was seriously bizarre. Perhaps I should lay off the margaritas before bed).

Anyway, I woke up inspired to make a side dish with these fabulous superhero vegetables. But as spicy-sweet, nutty and flavorful as these thick-leafed veggies taste to me, I know they will intimidate my veg-shy carnisaurus. I mean, c’mon, the guy grew up eating something called “Scrapple,” a pressed-together mess of pig scraps. (Ew!)  Its tag line could be “From the Rooter to the Tooter!”  Let’s face it, kale and Swiss chard are pretty advanced veggies that can terrify people (like my husband) who don’t frequent the farmer’s market. So I decided to disguise these Superhero Veggies in a flavorful cape of spicy miso teriyaki. And guess what, John flipping LOVED THEM and asked for seconds! I knew he couldn’t resist the savory-sweet, hot teriyaki flavors. Woohoo, score one for Team Veg! Bonus for the cooks: this recipe takes all of 10 minutes to make, from fridge to plate.

Maybe my dream wasn’t so bizarre after all. These awesome SuperVeggies deserve to star in their own show…okay, maybe not as a crime-fighting duo, but perhaps as the stars of your next dinner!

Superhero Stir Fry: Kale and Chard in a Spicy Miso Teriyaki Disguise
Time to prepare: 10 minutes
Servings: makes enough for 4 side dishes
  • 1-2 tbsp oil that can take high heat (like grapeseed or peanut oil)
  • half bunch of kale, leaves torn in two or three parts (your choice of dinosaur kale, red, purple, etc. Get crazy, my friends!) (Lucky for me, my favorite farmer’s market vendor, Happy Boy Farms,  sells pre-mixed bags of kale and chard)
  • half bunch of Swiss chard, leaves torn in two or three parts (your choice of color)
  • 4 cloves garlic, either smashed or chopped
  • up to 1/4 cup of spicy teriyaki sauce (I used Kikoman’s spicy miso teriyaki and it was delish in this dish!)
In a big old wok, heat oil over high heat. Once heated, toss in the kale and chard. It should totally fill your wok to the rim (see photo above), but don’t worry, it cooks down to about 1/4 of the size (see photo below). Stir frequently for about 8 minutes until the leaves wilt and start to brown a bit, then add garlic and stir-fry for about a minute more, stirring constantly. Test the veggies to see if they’re wilted enough to eat – they should be slightly browned and soft. Then turn off the heat and immediately add teriyaki – do a little at a time, mix, taste, and add more as you like.

This makes an excellent side dish, but you can also make it a main dish by tossing in some super-firm tofu about half way through. The sauce cloaks the tofu too, which makes it appealing and edible for carnivores. Enjoy!

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Categories: 15 minute dishes, Main dish, Recipes, Starters and sides

Author:Cimeron

Cimeron Morrissey is an award-winning magazine writer who writes about her passions, which include travel, water sports, animal rescue and food.

Operation Carnivore Conversion

This is Operation Carnivore Conversion, an ambitious and potentially hazardous project to transform my meat-loving husband into a vegetarian. Recognizing that his diet was shared by Tyrannosauruses but not by humans who live very long, he has decided - reluctantly - to try to dramatically reduce his consumption of animal-based foods. The success of this project relies on my ability to serve inventive and tasty meals that would satisfy even a femur-gnawing caveman (and to prepare them in less than 30 minutes since I don't have much time). This is a high-risk endeavor. If my husband feels deprived or underwhelmed, he will see my arms as snack-shaped objects and/or whine me to death. Failure is not an option. Oh boy, here we go!

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